Tomorrow Munchie will have his last ever daytime breastfeed.
A combination of new job, returning to work and Munchie's refusal to take milk from anything other than me means its time to drop his only daytime feed.
He will continue to have his early morning feed and bedtime feed from me but in the day he will now survive on food.
My feeding journey has been very emotional. Initially I worried whether I would manage to feed this time. I then counted time as an ascending amount of time, 7 days, 10 days, 2 weeks, 1 month.
However, this ascending time soon began to feel like a burden, tied to Munchie for every feed, unable to leave him for any substantial amount of time and the only person who could tend to him during the night. I soon moved to counting down until when I could stop feeding altogether.
My aim to feed until 6 months was extended to 12 months. Its rewarding, its beneficial, its one of my favourite times with Munchie but it is also hard and draining and your body is not your own.
I have been counting down for so long that I am surprised to find myself feeling sad and emotional about dropping his last daytime feed.
I will miss our public day time feeds, no longer do they make me nervous, I feel confident, liberated and embrace the public feeds. I have surprised even myself. We have fed in parks, on beaches, camping, in theme parks, cafes, restaurants and in a tent in the middle of "Go Outdoors".
However, it is time. Time to begin to reclaim my body, time to teach him to feel safe away from Mummy, time for us to start a new chapter together. For him to begin to appreciate mummy for her tickles and smiles and stories and not for what he can take from my body.
So, tomorrow afternoon I will snuggle on our bed with my baby boy and we will share our final daytime breastfeed.
.jpg)
6 comments
I can completely understand your feelings on this. I got to the point where I was quite desperate to regain my body and my space but was also sad about stopping breast feeding and even now (a month later) would happily start again. For me it's partly the feeling that they are growing up and don't need me any more and that anyone will do. But it's not really so... Happy snuggles x
Oh I feel all emotional reading this...I could have written it myself not that long ago. I was desperate to reclaim my body too and ended up breastfeeding loads on my days off to compensate for not being there every day. I don't think I did either of us many favours with that approach though, so slowly slowly we stopped the daytime feeds..then the night feeds...until about 6 weeks ago, we stopped completely. Do I miss feeding? Yes. But it was time. Time to move onto new things. Enjoy your last daytime feed tomorrow - such precious, precious times :-)
I can honestly say sitting in the dark with each of my babies feeding them were some of my most precious memories of when they were tiny. its hard to let go and for things to change, for me it always just meant time I wouldn't get back. but there are so many other amazing moments to come!
We haven't started weaning yet. And although, like so many of you, I am so ready to have my body and freedom (at least a little of it) back. I dread not nursing my daughter. It's become one of the highlights of my day. I love when she's all cuddled in with me and just stares up at my face while nursing. Bliss.
Only just read this and I hope all is going well for you & Munchie. Weaning is an emotional time - you've made me feel all teary just thinking about it xxx
Thanks ladies. He has been fine without it if I keep him stocked up with snacks.
I miss it but trying hard to concentrate on the two feeds he still has and to savour them while I still have them.
Post a Comment